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Weekly Column by Andy Grieser
Column by Andy Grieser

July 12, 2002

I get a pretty fair amount of e-mail every day. Sure, most of it is either telling me Mother Nature slighted me, but this new wonder drug can add a few inches, if you know what I mean and I think you do. Another good chunk says barely-18 women with huge breasts are hot and wet for me. I’m still trying to reconcile that with the lack-of-length mail; maybe these horny college coeds like, well, Tiny Elvis?

On occasion, we do get mail from folks who actually read the site. I love e-mail, so feel free to write me at Want something to stay private? Let me know. Otherwise, I’ll regularly share my favorite letters with y’all.

First, a great letter from a new reader:

until about ...lets see, yesterday, I had been using for all my reviews and yada yada about games I wanted to check out before i they want you to PAY, to read reviews. this email is probably directed at the wrong person(s), but you're reviews are top notch, at least the same quality, or better, than's pay-to-read reviews...god it makes me mad. this could be a rant, oh my. keep up the good work!

Hell yeah, it could be a rant. More and more review sites are hiding their content behind pay-to-read services. Okay, I understand that. They gotta pay salaries and such. But I just can’t do that. First and foremost, our reviews are a service. You’re about to plunk down $50 for a game, and you need to know whether it’s a good investment. We want to let you know what works and what doesn’t, without you having to make another monetary investment.

You want to donate to our cause? Great. We’d love that. But we’ll never force you to pay for reviews while I’m in charge — you’ll have to pry the mouse from my cold, dead, about-to-go-zombie-on-your-ass fingers.

We at ESCmag love games as much as anyone. We’re in it for the love. And the horny coeds.

In my Jedi Knight II review, I bemoaned the lack of a recording device for Jedi battles. Dr. Uwe Girlich came to my rescue:

The OpenDemo project provides recording capabilities for Jedi Outcast (and 4 other Q3A based games).

Head over to the project home page at and download the JKII modification from SourceForge at (donwload here).

This enables fan-film at its best, as you can _change_ the recordings with a simple text (or better XML) editor.

In response to another comment in my Jedi Knight II review: "Jedi Outcast is a great entry in the series, and will I hope provide LucasArts with a great foundation for more quality games. Full Throttle 2 is on the way – is it too much to ask for another Sam & Max title?"

Lucasarts sold Sam & Max to a cartoon company, sorry. Unless they buy the rights back, Sam & Max Hit The Road will probably be the only Sam & Max game. Just thought you'd like to know.

Webmaster of The Kickstand
The world's largest Full Throttle fan site
"Givin' 'em hell" since 1997

Damn! Damn damn! I say we rise up and take back the Sam & Max rights. Who’s with me? Give me an hour with these coeds — hell, make that 10 minutes — and we’ll surf the highway.

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