Their ambition was good — from all appearances they intended on creating the Gran Tourismo of Motocross games. (Not sure if that’s a category that deserves a plural, but I’ll play it safe.) This is not a bad goal. Gran Tourismo is easily the best driving game around (it’s for the Playstation, in case anyone is wondering) so making the equivalent for any type of simulator is admirable. If you succeed. The game starts off like they did. The introduction to the game is like any five-minute highlight clip from the X-games (though exclusively Motocross, of course) complete with the "alternative" soundtrack and full motion video. I have never ridden a bike in real life or otherwise, but I was psyched to start trying.

I selected the self-described easiest course, and casually browsed through the pretty wide selection of bikes that is offered. The game allows for a high level of customization, including engine specifics and gear ratios to name a few. I had no idea what any of that meant, or even recognize half the brands of the bikes. So I picked the one that looked coolest, and left everything else alone.

Ok, so things seem good. I got a rush from the intro, I had a cool looking bike and I was on an easy course. No problem, right?

Yeah, right. See, the cool thing about Gran Tourismo is that the cars all really handled like cars. Very realistically. And while it seemed like Motocross Madness 2 was going to provide the same degree of realism judging by the controls offered (lean forward, lean back, do tricks, etc) and customization, there was one, shall we say, cosmic flaw. Again, if anyone out here who has ridden a motocross bike would care to contradict me, please do so, but I’m pretty sure a real motocross bike doesn’t steer like the equivalent of a drunken ox with three legs that this game provides.

Maybe I missed the option to turn off the "Tree Magnet" or something. All I know is that any rush induced by the intro to the game was quickly lost as I attempted in vain to follow the arrow that is provided as a course finder and finish a lap. I admit, crashing into trees was annoying at first, but that can only entertain someone for so long. Hitting the arrow keys does not cause one to turn so much as to lean to the left or right and alter the course ever so slightly. Yes, I understand that real steering is accomplished in part by shifting one’s body weight on the bike, but trust me, this wasn’t right. There was no way to accomplish the quick sudden turns needed to navigate the hazardous paths that are the trademark of a motocross course. Combine this with the poor graphics, especially the 3D rendering so that tree tops are constantly flashing through your vision (but you can make that stop by driving into their trunks, remember) and you have a pretty low level of playability. I tested the other levels, but with the same result. There might not be trees, but there was always something to drive into, or just to wipe out because you steered wrong.

I can understand Microsoft’s thinking. They’ve got the market of the motocross games, and I don’t think anyone should be surprised that underneath the glossy packaging lies a game with some big flaws. Anyone have Judge Jackson’s address? Maybe we can submit this as Exhibit Z.