You're Tommy Vercetti, a member of what would become GTA3's Forelli crime family and fresh out of prison. Tommy is sent to Vice City in Florida to help the Forellis break into drug dealing -- except the deal goes bad, leaving a trail of bodies and Tommy on the run for his life.

Oh, by the way, it's 1986. So while Tommy runs -- and then turns to fight -- you'll be listening to great tunes of yesteryear and enjoying plenty of Miami Vice fashion.

Everything about this game works. Vice City itself manages to be gritty while drenched in sunlight and pastels, and its residents range from me-first Yuppie slime to hookers to gang members to, of course, gangsters. There's not a decent soul in the bunch, which makes it even more fun to help Tommy in his quest to rule the city's underworld.

One of the game's best features is its sidelining of the linear story missions. Yeah, you gotta play 'em in order to unlock more, but there's plenty to do besides. Vice City is absolutely packed with side missions, timed challenges, mini-games and secret items. Most offer a permanent payoff in the end, though they range from cool (weapons and armor for Hidden Packages; permanent stat increases for vigilante or ambulance missions) to weak (the ability to ... make a cab jump? No thanks).

And then there's the story. Tommy actually discovers -- and takes out -- the person responsible for the botched drug deal fairly early on. After that, he's determined to run the other crimelords out of town.

Oh, and don't think the Forellis aren't eyeing a piece of the pie from Liberty City. All of this unfolds in cutscenes that pair great body-acting with an amazing cast of voices, starting with Ray Liotta as Tommy and featuring brand names like Fairuza Balk (The Craft), Dennis Hopper (Easy Rider) and Lee Majors (The Six Million Dollar Man). Hell, Miami Vice's own Tubbs -- Phillip Michael Thomas -- plays Tommy's sidekick Lance Vance.

Gameplay is... well, just a lot of fun. It's not random chaos, unlike what some prudes would have you think. Go too wild, and not only will the cops show up, the FBI and National Guard will as well. You can be a smart criminal or a dead criminal. Control is the game's absolute weak point: Most can be learned quickly, but flying planes and helicopters is an exercise in pain. I dread those missions, and only finish after lots and lots of replay. Even remapping the keys only helps a little. If you can get a gamepad, do it.

The '80s were all about music, and the selection here -- presented as radio stations on the various vehicles -- is amazing. Every genre is represented, complete with DJs and commercials that echo the past. There's a lot of mocking humor here, but also (surprisingly) a lot of love on the part of Rockstar for those days of yore.

I've got a stack of games waiting for review, and honestly I can't stop playing GTA: Vice City. God help me when GTA4 finally comes out. In the meantime, this is one of the best PC games -- if not The Best -- of the year.

Please note: Vice City is most definitely an adult game. Let's not give the prudes ammunition by buying it for kids, okay?